You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
