i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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