Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Randomize
