So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
