I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
