i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
