If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
