What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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