Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
