he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You need a sexual gate keeper
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
