it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
