How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
