Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
