I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
