I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
