things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
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