you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
