She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
