Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I've blown a few things in my day
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
