So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
