i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just gargled with NyQuil
Who died my cat blue again?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
