Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
