just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
