just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
