The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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