Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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