and you said cock pushups were impossible
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
