that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
