is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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