Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize