I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
