he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
