I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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