please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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