drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I am one with the molecules
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
