So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
