one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
