i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
