Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
