Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
