i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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