You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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