I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
