we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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