The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize