I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He passed out mid-signature
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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