You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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