'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
