Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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