we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
