That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
