My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
