Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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