My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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