i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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