She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
