I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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