I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
