Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
