i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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