I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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