I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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