I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
