I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
