and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
