ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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