I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
