Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
