4 words: hood of his car
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
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