Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
