So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Drake has all the answers
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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