everyone is single if you try hard enough
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
