he wants to bone in the snuggie
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
