I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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