Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
