Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
